#1
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
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#2
What do you call a computer that sings?
A-Dell.
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#3
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
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#4
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
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#5
What kind of music do planets like?
Neptunes.
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#6
Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter.
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#7
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
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#8
Why was the math book depressed?
It had too many problems.
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#9
What do computers eat for a snack?
Microchips.
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#10
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
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#11
How do trees access the internet?
They log in.
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#12
Why don't programmers like nature?
It has too many bugs.
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#13
What did the router say to the doctor?
It hurts when IP.
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#14
Why was the robot so tired?
He had a hard drive.
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#15
What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte.
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#16
Why did the cell phone need glasses?
It lost its contacts.
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#17
What did the science book say to the math book?
Wow, you've got problems.
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#18
Why are chemists great at solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
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#19
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
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#20
Why did the photon check no luggage at the airport?
Because it was traveling light.
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#21
Two atoms are walking together. One says: 'I think I lost an electron.' The other asks: 'Are you sure?'
'I'm positive.'
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#22
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle?
Attire.
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#23
Why can you never trust an atom?
They literally make up everything.
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#24
What did the Wi-Fi router say to the doctor?
I'm not feeling very well, I've lost my connection.
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#25
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
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#26
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender says:
'For you, no charge.'
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#27
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?
Because it's a little meteor.
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#28
What's a computer's least favorite food?
Spam.
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#29
Why did the geologist break up with their partner?
They took them for granite.
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#30
How did the astronaut serve dinner in space?
On flying saucers.
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#31
What is a computer's favorite dance move?
Disk-o.
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#32
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-o acid.
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#33
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?
There was no chemistry.
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#34
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
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#35
Why are elevator jokes so classic?
They work on many levels.
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#36
Why did the biologist look forward to casual Friday?
They were into genes.
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#37
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
You may have graduated, but I have many degrees.
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#38
Why did the smartphone need glasses?
Because it lost all its contacts.
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#39
What do you call a sleeping T-Rex?
A dino-snore.
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#40
Why was the math equation sad?
It had too many problems it couldn't solve.
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#41
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
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#42
How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints.
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#43
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
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#44
What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?
You make my temperature rise.
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#45
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
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#46
What did Gregor Mendel say when he started his garden?
Oh what fun, I'm so excited for my experiments to grow on me.
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#47
Why is electricity a great student?
It conducts itself so well.
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#48
What did the proton say to the electron?
Stop being so negative.
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#49
Why are dark jokes like clean energy?
They're hard to come by.
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#50
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
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