#1
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
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#2
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
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#3
What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?
Yellow!
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#4
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crummy.
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#5
What do you call a cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
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#6
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling well.
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#7
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
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#8
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.
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#9
What do you call an avocado that's been blessed by the pope?
Holy guacamole.
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#10
Why don't oranges go around naked?
Because they'd feel peeled.
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#11
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
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#12
I burned my Hawaiian pizza last night...
I should have put it on aloha temperature.
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#13
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi!
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#14
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice.
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#15
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
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#16
What did the egg say to the frying pan?
You crack me up.
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#17
Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
He was tired of the hole business.
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#18
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZa.
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#19
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
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#20
Why did the chef get arrested?
He was caught beating an egg.
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#21
What do you call a bear without teeth eating honey?
A gummy bear with good taste.
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#22
Why don't tacos ever win arguments?
They always fold under pressure.
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#23
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where's popcorn?
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#24
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Ice scream.
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#25
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
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#26
What kind of nut always seems to have a cold?
A cashew.
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#27
What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
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#28
Why did the lettuce win the race?
It was a head.
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#29
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
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#30
What happens when you eat too many SpaghettiOs?
You get a Spaghetti-Uh-Oh.
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#31
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
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#32
Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
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#33
What did the sandwich say to the doorbell?
Lettuce in!
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#34
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur at a bakery?
A dino-snore roll.
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#35
Why did the butcher work extra hours?
To make ends meat.
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#36
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business.
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#37
What did the salad say to the fridge?
Close the door, I'm dressing.
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#38
Why did the flour feel trapped?
It was being kneaded.
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#39
What did the waiter say to the horse?
I can't take your order, that's not my stable.
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#40
What do you call an angry carrot?
A steamed veggie.
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#41
Why is bread always tired?
Because it loafs around all day.
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#42
What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
Broom-mates.
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#43
What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner is on me.
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#44
Why should you never trust a taco?
They tend to spill the beans.
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#45
What type of cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
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#46
Why do watermelons have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
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#47
What do you call a deer with no eyes at a barbecue?
No-eye deer with a grill face.
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#48
What's the best day to cook?
Fry-day.
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#49
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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#50
Why did the coffee go to the police?
To report a mugging.
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